i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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