So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
