You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
