I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
