I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
