His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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