in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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