oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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