these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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