exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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