that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
