at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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