Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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