Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
