I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wish my penis had a tongue
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this will be a night to untag.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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