He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
