Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
