oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The beer is more important than you right now.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
