Umm I'm too high to move.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Acid is not a monday night drug
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
