i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
