You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
