I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
