Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
