Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
