Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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