i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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