Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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