I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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