Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
