'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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