i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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