the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
