genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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