I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
