I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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