Non-Jews are for practice
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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