So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
