oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
