Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
well I can't set my house on fire every night
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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