Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
