wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
