Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So vagazzling was a success
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