The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
