why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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