After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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