Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We were destined to go to rehab together
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
