The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
