You made me cry and you don't even care
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
