it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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