Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
