i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
