He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
