There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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