talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
